we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
