I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Houston, we have a blender
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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