pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
