went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
