I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize