that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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