Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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