no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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