I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
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There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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