I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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