I want to make a zoo with you.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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