you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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