why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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