I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
