Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
