i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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