There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
