i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
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my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
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I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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