If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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