Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
