just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
