i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
