suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
