Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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