And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
