What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
