did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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