We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's always time for handjobs
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
