well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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