Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
