I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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