i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Ketchup is God's man juice
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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