Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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