i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
