I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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