The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up