either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."