..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
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Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
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No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Still dying that you shit outside
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.