ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
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she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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