A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.