Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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