i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
