wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
