I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize