a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
