ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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