I need to stop coming to work sober
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
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Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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