so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
