I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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