You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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