There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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