I hate all girls vehemently.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
