end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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