we have pet lesbian snakes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
