I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
