Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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