and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
