did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
