I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
